Shelf Life Taste Test » Columns Condiments, Dressings, Oils, Vinegars

Salsa

By amy • • Feb 14th, 2004 • Category: Columns, Condiments, Dressings, Oils, Vinegars

We’re with Jerry Seinfeld on this one: people love to say the word ‘salsa’. Salsa. Salsa.It’s a sexy, spicy term that’s got built-in cha-cha appeal. Shelf Life wonders: what’s in a name? What if salsa (both the chunky dip and the Latin gyrations) had a different, dorky moniker? What if salsa had been issued the name of a loser food – what then? Few people would want to sign up for liverwurst classes, we think, or get out the party chips for a bowl of head cheese.

Salsa: it’s hot stuff. Watering their burros and squinting over their cigarillos are this week’s judges: Kim Gertler, food writer and producer/director for Prime Channel’s Wine Television; Kathy Lee, recipe tester and developer for Canadian Living; and Johanna Weinstein, food stylist and co-founder of Toronto frozen-food purveyors Urban Provisions. As always, space limitations prevent us from evaluating every brand in a given category; items reflect the luck of the draw. Items are blind taste-tested and awarded between one and five stars. Spread out on the serape: salsa and tortilla chips.

	Neal Brothers Salsa, Mild 17.6 oz, $3.99 widely available Kim: Check out the day-glo, hyper-red visuals here. This one looks surprisingly gonzo for a mild brand. But instead of an eye-opening taste experience I got a high dose of preservatives and sugar. I would add lemon juice and green hot sauce to make this one more interesting. TWO AND A HALF STARS 1/2 Kathy: Flavour-wise I find Brand One overly sweet, garlicky, and processed, like so-so pasta sauce. There’s an off-putting high gloss and the tomatoes are too soft. The whole thing most definitely does not remind me of hot sun or anything Mexican. Maybe an Aztec sacrifice. TWO STARS Johanna: There’s an interesting fake jalapeno flavour here, which tastes worse without the chip. The chip definitely helps. Brand One is very red, a bit like Jell-o in the texture department, and almost entirely without heat. But I will enjoy tarting this brand up, because I am totally addicted to chipotle tobasco. Chipotle tobasco – god, those words are so hot you can practically sunbathe to them. TWO AND A HALF STARS1/2 Brand One Total – SEVEN STARS *****
	Old El Paso Picante Salsa, Mild 650 ml, $3.99 widely available Kim: Good chunk appeal. Generous celery and onion, definitely. Feels fresher than Brand One, certainly. But Brand Two falls short of excellence, because the first impression on my palate is acidic, and because this brand contains even less heat than the first, if such a thing is possible. An Eskimo pie has more heat than Brand Two. THREE STARS * Kathy: This one started with a good visual impression, but then things went downhill fast. There’s a lot of acid here, which gave me a burst of initial bad taste and then an even worse aftertaste. To be fair, you can detect a few genuine ingredients, such as garlic and celery. Like Kim, though, I expect heat from salsa, and this ain’t lighting any fires. TWO STARS Johanna: Okay, I concede that there are traces of sourness here, but I’m inclined to feel more positive towards Brand Two. The chunky texture gets points, and I like the fact that I can see and taste green pepper. And it sits on my chip in a kind of siesta-at-high-noon way, which counts for a lot when you’re sitting in front of the TV in Oakville. THREE STARS * Brand Two Total EIGHT STARS ******
	Tostitos Salsa, Mild 430 ml, $3.69 widely available Kim: Here’s the deal with this product: salsa should transport you – it should give your palate a break from WASP culture and take you way down south. This brand takes me about as far south as Windsor. Dear manufacturer: if your salsa smells of chicken bouillon cubes, it’s time to re-think. TWO STARS Kathy*: Is this Tostitos? This brand doesn’t taste like salsa – it’s like a mishmash of hamburger relish and chicken broth and God knows what else. I find Brand Three suspiciously oily, and the artificial colour is – well, you just want to run away, frankly. ONE STAR Johanna: Brand Three has a real identity crisis – it’s not a sauce and not a salsa, more like a soup. Notice the creepy separation factor – the chunks have gone in one direction while a kind of weird residue is climbing the sides of my bowl. I can see some seeds, and there’s a smell of green pepper, but the bad points definitely outnumber the good. ONE STAR * Brand Three Total FOUR STARS ****
	Desert Pepper Salsa Del Rio, Mediun 16 oz, $$6.49 widely available Kim: Amigos, this is the first real salsa we’ve seen. I love the prickly-pear type heat, the smokiness, the firm tomato, and the lip-smacking extras that I think include cumin. The appearance gets a thumbs-up – it doesn’t look whipped up in a factory somewhere – and the herbs are making it all happen. However I’m deducting a point for its overuse of salt. FOUR STARS ** Kathy: This one gives you a kick, doesn’t it? Not too strong – just right for a mild brand. I’m tasting jalapeno and green tomato right off the bat. You can picture this one served with fish, or pork as a salsa verde. I like the herb element – very much a mexi-casa feel. FOUR STARS Johanna: The smell is fresh and gets the taste buds sitting up. It definitely has the aaah factor – when it came to the table we all made approving noises. I like Brand Four’s complexity, its use of herbs, and its sense of what a real salsa should be. FOUR STARS Brand Four Total TWELVE STARS **********

Results: Once upon a time in Mexico, Desert Pepper brand won over the judges with its authentic ingredients and handsomely designed packaging. Old El Paso and Neal Brothers trailed behind in the dust, while Tostitos was picked at by vultures.

Off The Menu: Even mild salsa should taste like arriba! in a jar, not like crazy-coloured hot dog relish. The judges were mystified by the refusal of many of these old-fashioned, familiar brands to move with the times. Just as other snack foods are adopting extreme flavours – ie. the kinds of amped-up taste sensations that salsa does naturally – brands such as Tostitos remain needlessly tighty-whitey. Their television ads are equally flavourless; can anyone remember seeing
a good TV spot for salsa – ever?

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Shelf Life » Columns Prepared Foods Snacks » Blue Corn Tortilla Chips on September 6th, 2009 at 11:24 am:
[...] Off The Menu: Speaking of colour, Shelf Life has always wondered about tortilla chips available in American-flag-hued varieties: is blue corn an authentic strain, or a gimmick? It turns out that blue corn is one of the oldest types of North American maize. The Pueblo tribe in the Southwestern United States was using blue corn at least as far back as 1540, when Spanish explorers discovered the region. Blue corn tends to be floury, and contains about 30% more protein than the average hybrid corn. Many chip enthusiasts feel that it has a lighter flavour than yellow corn. For Shelf Life, it’s all about the salsa. For a link to our archived salsa taste test click here: Salsa tasting [...]

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	Neal Brothers Salsa, Mild 17.6 oz, $3.99 widely available Kim: Check out the day-glo, hyper-red visuals here. This one looks surprisingly gonzo for a mild brand. But instead of an eye-opening taste experience I got a high dose of preservatives and sugar. I would add lemon juice and green hot sauce to make this one more interesting. TWO AND A HALF STARS 1/2 Kathy: Flavour-wise I find Brand One overly sweet, garlicky, and processed, like so-so pasta sauce. There’s an off-putting high gloss and the tomatoes are too soft. The whole thing most definitely does not remind me of hot sun or anything Mexican. Maybe an Aztec sacrifice. TWO STARS Johanna: There’s an interesting fake jalapeno flavour here, which tastes worse without the chip. The chip definitely helps. Brand One is very red, a bit like Jell-o in the texture department, and almost entirely without heat. But I will enjoy tarting this brand up, because I am totally addicted to chipotle tobasco. Chipotle tobasco – god, those words are so hot you can practically sunbathe to them. TWO AND A HALF STARS1/2 Brand One Total – SEVEN STARS *****
	Old El Paso Picante Salsa, Mild 650 ml, $3.99 widely available Kim: Good chunk appeal. Generous celery and onion, definitely. Feels fresher than Brand One, certainly. But Brand Two falls short of excellence, because the first impression on my palate is acidic, and because this brand contains even less heat than the first, if such a thing is possible. An Eskimo pie has more heat than Brand Two. THREE STARS * Kathy: This one started with a good visual impression, but then things went downhill fast. There’s a lot of acid here, which gave me a burst of initial bad taste and then an even worse aftertaste. To be fair, you can detect a few genuine ingredients, such as garlic and celery. Like Kim, though, I expect heat from salsa, and this ain’t lighting any fires. TWO STARS Johanna: Okay, I concede that there are traces of sourness here, but I’m inclined to feel more positive towards Brand Two. The chunky texture gets points, and I like the fact that I can see and taste green pepper. And it sits on my chip in a kind of siesta-at-high-noon way, which counts for a lot when you’re sitting in front of the TV in Oakville. THREE STARS * Brand Two Total EIGHT STARS ******
	Tostitos Salsa, Mild 430 ml, $3.69 widely available Kim: Here’s the deal with this product: salsa should transport you – it should give your palate a break from WASP culture and take you way down south. This brand takes me about as far south as Windsor. Dear manufacturer: if your salsa smells of chicken bouillon cubes, it’s time to re-think. TWO STARS Kathy*: Is this Tostitos? This brand doesn’t taste like salsa – it’s like a mishmash of hamburger relish and chicken broth and God knows what else. I find Brand Three suspiciously oily, and the artificial colour is – well, you just want to run away, frankly. ONE STAR Johanna: Brand Three has a real identity crisis – it’s not a sauce and not a salsa, more like a soup. Notice the creepy separation factor – the chunks have gone in one direction while a kind of weird residue is climbing the sides of my bowl. I can see some seeds, and there’s a smell of green pepper, but the bad points definitely outnumber the good. ONE STAR * Brand Three Total FOUR STARS ****
	Desert Pepper Salsa Del Rio, Mediun 16 oz, $$6.49 widely available Kim: Amigos, this is the first real salsa we’ve seen. I love the prickly-pear type heat, the smokiness, the firm tomato, and the lip-smacking extras that I think include cumin. The appearance gets a thumbs-up – it doesn’t look whipped up in a factory somewhere – and the herbs are making it all happen. However I’m deducting a point for its overuse of salt. FOUR STARS ** Kathy: This one gives you a kick, doesn’t it? Not too strong – just right for a mild brand. I’m tasting jalapeno and green tomato right off the bat. You can picture this one served with fish, or pork as a salsa verde. I like the herb element – very much a mexi-casa feel. FOUR STARS Johanna: The smell is fresh and gets the taste buds sitting up. It definitely has the aaah factor – when it came to the table we all made approving noises. I like Brand Four’s complexity, its use of herbs, and its sense of what a real salsa should be. FOUR STARS Brand Four Total TWELVE STARS **********

Salsa

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