Shelf Life Taste Test » Columns Prepared Foods

Stuffing Mix

By sean • • Oct 11th, 2003 • Category: Columns, Prepared Foods

Thanksgiving: a time to help others, and for Shelf Life, a time to rescue a culinary Cinderella. You’ve got to feel sorry for store-bought stuffing – it’s the servant girl of The Land Of Side Dishes, always second best to the homemade variety and always looking drab. Well, no more: our makeover team is in the house, ready to sex things up. Interestingly, Cinderella’s handsome prince is a frozen turkey – but, hey, when you get right down to it, what man isn’t?

Following the instructions on the box are this week’s all-TV panelists, experts in both festive occasions and fabulosity. From The Food Network: Christine Cushing, chef and host of Christine Cushing Live; Paul Silva, Executive Sous Chef, Christine Cushing Live; and Lynne Valeriote, cake decorator and Senior Content Producer at the foodtv.ca website. As always, space limitations prevent us from evaluating every brand in a given category; entries reflect the luck of the draw. In the scullery: four pans of boiling water, four pouches of stuffing mix, and four dabs of butter.

	Brand One Uncle Ben’s Stuff’N Such, Country Style 120 g, $1.69 widely available Christine: Not bad, considering it comes from a box. The earthy, slightly sweet flavour is something you can build on, and the cornbread saves it from looking too unappetizing. Is it good enough? Depends on the circumstances. Say you’re Martha Stewart, and you’re in jail – then you’d love it. THREE AND 1/2 STARS *1/2 Paul: Good body, appealing smell, and you can see the onions, peppers, and herbs. I’m surprised – it looks almost homemade. The thing that gives it away is that undertow of dehydrated ingredients, but you can bury that under fresh products you add yourself, starting with basics such as celery or sautéed mushrooms. THREE AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne:* What I find is that the butter takes over the flavour a bit, which is nice. I like the fact that the vegetables are clearly noticeable. I wouldn’t wheel it out with my best tablecloth and a roast pheasant, but I wouldn’t say no to including it in a good family dinner either. THREE STARS * Brand One Total – TEN STARS ********
	Brand Two Kraft Stove Top, Chicken 120g, $1.99 widely available Christine: In terms of appearance, this one is not as immediately winning as the first brand – it’s a shade more pedestrian. A little bit country; a little bit rock n roll; it’s the E-Z rock of stuffing mixes. But the flavour is better, and the texture. All you’d have to do to is add fresh sage, some raisins, maybe a little wine. That would work for me. THREE AND 3/4 STARS 3/4* Paul: Pork might go well with this one – roast pork or even pork chops, with apple. I’m tasting a back beat of Oxo-cube flavour that you probably get with all of these prepared stuffings, plus a strong garlic scent. The best thing about brand two is that the bread chunks look authentic and don’t appear factory produced. TWO AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne: I think the word here is ‘reliable’. The bread looks browned and golden, the smell isn’t bad, and I think I detect some actual parsley in there. But I’m not convinced about the taste, and there’s a gumminess I didn’t find in brand one. This one feels more starchy so I definitely wouldn’t serve it with potatoes. THREE STARS * Brand Two Total – NINE AND 1/4 STARS *****1/4
	Brand Three Our Compliments, Stuffing Mix, Country Harvest 120g, $1.49 Available at IGA and affiliated stores Christine: Smells okay, but I think we’re starting to go downhill here. In an extreme emergency, maybe you could serve this stuffing to your guests – but you would have to distract them with something exciting, like cash. I’d only put this brand on their plates if I could yell ‘Waiter! More retsina!’ TWO STARS PAUL:** This one reminds me of … a Simpsons character. Agnes, as a matter of fact. Bitter, old, and nasty. Christine is right: Brand Three smells way better than it tastes, or looks. But is it beyond help? I think you’d have to offer this one with very sharp alternate flavours, say something sweet and sour, or spicy – one of the strong sausages would be good. ONE AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne:* To me this is the middle-of-the-road brand: it’s presentable but poky and carby. You could really experiment with it, though, so I’d try some nuts – pecans, or walnuts – or fruit, such as grated orange peel or currants or apricots. You could also pair it with something unexpected - for example, poultry-type stuffing is excellent with baked salmon. TWO STARS Brand Three Total – FIVE AND 1/2 STARS ***1/2
	Brand Four Paxo, Pepperidge Farm, All Purpose Stuffing 227g, $2.39 Widely available Christine: Eeh! Mealy, doughy, musty — oh my. And is that green colour meant to signal sage? The other brands erred on the side of too much moisture, and the excess water tended to make them gummy – but this one is dry, dry, dry. Bye-bye dry. ONE STAR * Paul: Look at that green colour – it’s Kermit the frog! Dead! And chopped and freeze dried! God, I think it would be wrong to eat this. Bad enough we have to eat our barnyard friends at Thanksgiving, now we have to eat our favourite puppets as well. ONE STAR * Lynne: This one resembles oatmeal cookie dough with breadcrumbs added. And it certainly is very dry and very green. The smell reminds me of the stale spices from my mother’s old spice rack, circa 1974. Whoever made this – is selling this – hasn’t bothered to look at the competing brands, which are much better. ONE STAR * Brand Four Total – THREE STARS ***

Results: The glass slipper fits Uncle Ben, which – besides adding a fascinating cross-dressing factor to the proceedings – means that desperate, last-minute Thanksgiving cooks can head home from the grocery store with at least one brand of stuffing mix to work with.

Off The Menu: Looking at the pictures on the boxes, one panelist felt that the spooky, too-perfect roast meat depicted on the Our Compliments package “isn’t like anything in nature”. And as for the scene on the Paxo box – since the stuffing itself looks like that crumbly material found in plush toys, the heap on the turkey took on a sinister meaning, as if a teddy bears’ picnic had gone horribly wrong.

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	Brand One Uncle Ben’s Stuff’N Such, Country Style 120 g, $1.69 widely available Christine: Not bad, considering it comes from a box. The earthy, slightly sweet flavour is something you can build on, and the cornbread saves it from looking too unappetizing. Is it good enough? Depends on the circumstances. Say you’re Martha Stewart, and you’re in jail – then you’d love it. THREE AND 1/2 STARS *1/2 Paul: Good body, appealing smell, and you can see the onions, peppers, and herbs. I’m surprised – it looks almost homemade. The thing that gives it away is that undertow of dehydrated ingredients, but you can bury that under fresh products you add yourself, starting with basics such as celery or sautéed mushrooms. THREE AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne:* What I find is that the butter takes over the flavour a bit, which is nice. I like the fact that the vegetables are clearly noticeable. I wouldn’t wheel it out with my best tablecloth and a roast pheasant, but I wouldn’t say no to including it in a good family dinner either. THREE STARS * Brand One Total – TEN STARS ********
	Brand Two Kraft Stove Top, Chicken 120g, $1.99 widely available Christine: In terms of appearance, this one is not as immediately winning as the first brand – it’s a shade more pedestrian. A little bit country; a little bit rock n roll; it’s the E-Z rock of stuffing mixes. But the flavour is better, and the texture. All you’d have to do to is add fresh sage, some raisins, maybe a little wine. That would work for me. THREE AND 3/4 STARS 3/4* Paul: Pork might go well with this one – roast pork or even pork chops, with apple. I’m tasting a back beat of Oxo-cube flavour that you probably get with all of these prepared stuffings, plus a strong garlic scent. The best thing about brand two is that the bread chunks look authentic and don’t appear factory produced. TWO AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne: I think the word here is ‘reliable’. The bread looks browned and golden, the smell isn’t bad, and I think I detect some actual parsley in there. But I’m not convinced about the taste, and there’s a gumminess I didn’t find in brand one. This one feels more starchy so I definitely wouldn’t serve it with potatoes. THREE STARS * Brand Two Total – NINE AND 1/4 STARS *****1/4
	Brand Three Our Compliments, Stuffing Mix, Country Harvest 120g, $1.49 Available at IGA and affiliated stores Christine: Smells okay, but I think we’re starting to go downhill here. In an extreme emergency, maybe you could serve this stuffing to your guests – but you would have to distract them with something exciting, like cash. I’d only put this brand on their plates if I could yell ‘Waiter! More retsina!’ TWO STARS PAUL:** This one reminds me of … a Simpsons character. Agnes, as a matter of fact. Bitter, old, and nasty. Christine is right: Brand Three smells way better than it tastes, or looks. But is it beyond help? I think you’d have to offer this one with very sharp alternate flavours, say something sweet and sour, or spicy – one of the strong sausages would be good. ONE AND 1/2 STARS 1/2 Lynne:* To me this is the middle-of-the-road brand: it’s presentable but poky and carby. You could really experiment with it, though, so I’d try some nuts – pecans, or walnuts – or fruit, such as grated orange peel or currants or apricots. You could also pair it with something unexpected - for example, poultry-type stuffing is excellent with baked salmon. TWO STARS Brand Three Total – FIVE AND 1/2 STARS ***1/2
	Brand Four Paxo, Pepperidge Farm, All Purpose Stuffing 227g, $2.39 Widely available Christine: Eeh! Mealy, doughy, musty — oh my. And is that green colour meant to signal sage? The other brands erred on the side of too much moisture, and the excess water tended to make them gummy – but this one is dry, dry, dry. Bye-bye dry. ONE STAR * Paul: Look at that green colour – it’s Kermit the frog! Dead! And chopped and freeze dried! God, I think it would be wrong to eat this. Bad enough we have to eat our barnyard friends at Thanksgiving, now we have to eat our favourite puppets as well. ONE STAR * Lynne: This one resembles oatmeal cookie dough with breadcrumbs added. And it certainly is very dry and very green. The smell reminds me of the stale spices from my mother’s old spice rack, circa 1974. Whoever made this – is selling this – hasn’t bothered to look at the competing brands, which are much better. ONE STAR * Brand Four Total – THREE STARS ***

Stuffing Mix

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