Earl Grey Tea
By amy • • May 9th, 2009 • Category: Beverages, Columns
Mother’s Day and tea parties go together beautifully, as naturally as Candy Spelling and shopping. On this year’s occasion, the Moms of Shelf Life will be raising their teacups to two important men in their lives. The first is a certain suave, intergalactic Englishman dressed in a form-fitting bodysuit, with a wonderful, knicker-flustering voice. According to tea industry lore, the Earl Grey blend was virtually unknown in the States until the advent of Star Trek: Next Generation, which introduced viewers to Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard. When the Starfleet Commander activated the Enterprise’s replicator with the words ‘Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.’ millions of Americans decided they wanted to try some of that oddly-named, non-iced tea. At the same time, the nation’s women developed crushes on the courtly actor. In Canada, where the tea was available but middle-aged sex symbols were not, the moms of Shelf Life fell in love. Teacups rolled.
The other gent in question is the Earl himself. The distinctive, aromatic variety of ‘camellia sinensis’, sometimes called ‘Old Stinky’, is named after the 2nd Earl Grey, British Prime Minister from 1830-1834, a modernizer (his Reform Bill of 1832 helped re-model the House Of Commons) and a womanizer (one of his paramours, the Duchess of Devonshire, is the subject of the recent film The Duchess). Legend has it that the Earl received a gift of curiously fragrant black tea from the Far East, after which the mixture acquired his name. The blend is flavoured with oil from the rind of bergamot, a small, pear-shaped citrus fruit common to Southeast Asia which is also grown commercially in the Calabria region of Italy. It is not known what the Earl’s views were on his namesake beverage, or tea in general, or even Mother’s Day, but it seems that the Earl did enjoy more than a few mothers. Perhaps after tea.
A toast to memorable men, then. But Shelf Life is supplying the tea, and we’re a little anxious about pleasing Mom. Which brand will provide a suitable homage? We’d better get this right. Mother’s Day: it’s not even here yet, and already we need a drink.
Saying ‘make it so’ to a good cuppa tea are this week’s expert judges: cook and TV producer Crystal Asher, recently behind the scenes at the Food Network’s Chef School; legendary restauranteur and retailer Dinah Koo, now owner of the new Dinah’s Soup Kitchen; and cook, food writer, and former restauranteur Signe Langford, currently Contributing Editor at Zoomer Magazine, all in Toronto. Space limitations prevent us from evaluating every brand in a given category; entries reflect the luck of the draw. Items are blind taste-tested and awarded between zero and five stars.
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Brand One Mighty Leaf Tea Crystal: This tea comes in a pretty, silky bag, and it’s very fragrant. It’s a gorgeous golden amber colour and the flavour is lovely, with floral and honey notes. Brand One is altogether a star, and feels expensive – it’s like something Joan Collins would have in her tea caddy. Dinah: This is the kind of tea that you want for all occasions – it’s mild but clean and very pleasant. The leaves look real, there’s no sense of chemicals or dust. And it’s a nice bonus that the bag is attractive – the manufacturers are aiming for a sense of occasion, which I think is true to the spirit of tea. Signe: You want the tea to be ready and waiting to give refreshment. My former mother in law, who was English, would always say – and this was in times of stress, or actually just any time –‘I could MURDER a cup of tea’. This tea satisfies me – it’s got an appealing, slightly smoky aroma, nice bag, good leaves, and the taste has balance. I wouldn’t use it for the pot, though, it’s better for just one glass. Brand One Total TWELVE STARS ************ |
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Brand Two
Duchy Originals Organic Crystal: In our house everything was homemade – we were the kids who went to school with sandwiches made with wonky sliced bread. And my mother is very social, very much a hostess, so for me food is about people and conversation. With Brand Two, my conversation is stopping dead, because this is boring – and stingy! The bag is full of crumbly bits and the tea is tasteless, with a bitter finish. Dinah: My mother would definitely not enjoy a cup of this, she is very knowledgeable about food, very perceptive. This is like your low expectations of a brand you get in the supermarket. Brand Two has no genuine Earl Grey flavour, and a terrible aftertaste. Signe: How dull can you get? And I’m speaking as someone who was raised on dull – my mother was Scottish, which meant that an ideal family meal contained no flavour whatsoever. Brand Two doesn’t have much of anything, not even an aroma. It’s housewifey, like the way those women on home-products commercials look. This is tea for the Brand Power lady. Brand Two Total ZERO STARS |
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Brand Three
Tazo Crystal: This is a very good, accessible tea – not glamorous, but worthwhile. It actually tastes like a committed Earl Grey tea, the bergamot is very unapologetic. You were asking earlier about the differences between coffee and tea drinkers – I think I’ve got it. Coffee nerds can be crazy and scary, but tea nerds are just sad. If coffee people go wrong they end up in prison; if you go wrong as a tea drinker you’re a cat lady. Dinah: Nice chop! The leaves look authentic and there’s a generous amount in the bag. The aroma and flavour hit the right note. Cooking with Earl Grey tea is always interesting: it works in cookies, cakes, muffins, and now the popular thing is Earl Grey-infused artisanal chocolate. Signe: I drank the whole cup … I’m partial to the grassy aroma, it’s a bit like hay. Brand Three is very nice with sugar. I think discriminating mothers would enjoy this. Brand Three Total TWELVE STARS ************ |
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Brand Four
Twinings of London Crystal: The bag looks cheap, and there’s a skimpy amount in there, with teeny leaves, but the taste is fairly engaging. To me, there’s almost a hint of camomile in the aroma, something that smells like green tea instead of black. Brand Four stands up very well to scones and jam. Dinah: I’m mesmerized! I’m watching the bag in the clear cup, as the tea moves out very slowly and infuses the water. I took a sip and the flavour is very successful, although I agree with Crystal that the bag is somewhat small. Signe: I would say this one is exotic but not too challenging – you could serve it to a whole range of mothers. The flavour is a little bit cardboardy. Brand Four Total ELEVEN STARS *********** |
Results: The top two brands, Mighty Leaf and Tazo, earned identical scores, with Twinings just a drop or two behind. Duchy Originals brand was unconventional, all right, but not in a good way.
Off The Menu: Egads! Our Mother’s Day tea party ended in an uproar when we realized that we had dissed the classy choice – the tea produced by the Prince of Wales. Ordinarily, Shelf Life enjoys Duchy Originals products, which are all-organic, support a number of charities, and usually taste awesome. But now, as they say, the peasants are revolting. Dear Charles: we don’t want to be impertinent, but we have to ask: would you serve this tea to your mother?









